Title: A Committed Misunderstanding
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Sci-Fi, Fluff
Pairing: Gen
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Author Note: Though this is a short little bit of fluff, it’s possible this is the foundation for something I might do for April RT.
Timeline: A little nebulous, but sometime in season 4 or 5. Definitely before Daniel ascended
Challenge: Just Write Create Your Own Bingo – Bad Things Happen, Prompt: Misunderstanding
Word Count: ~1700
Summary: SG-1 returns from a mission to find that there had been a gross misunderstanding regarding some contingency planning; it will change the direction of the program forever.

A Committed Misunderstanding

A mistake is to commit a misunderstanding. —Bob Dylan

Jack O’Neill stepped back through the gate, on what was a pretty boring first-contact mission for his team, to complete pandemonium that, for once, had nothing to do with something his team had been involved in.

“What do you think happened?” Major Carter asked.

Before anyone formulate a reply, General Hammond’s voice came over the speaker. “SG-1, unless there’s anything I need to be briefed on immediately, report to medical for clearance and then meet me in the conference room for debrief. A lot’s happened while you were gone.”

“Understood, sir.” Jack figured he could get some answers in medical, so he hustled his team out, but the infirmary was running on a skeleton staff, with Dr. Fraiser herself working alongside the nurses to draw blood.

“What’s going on, Doc?”

“The general has asked to brief you himself, Colonel.”

Jack’s eyebrows shot up. “That’s all I get?”

“That’s it,” she said with a pleasant smile right before jabbing him with a big-ass needle.

“And where are the rest of your staff?” Daniel asked. “Aren’t there usually a few more people on duty in case something goes awry in the field?”

“You were the last team to report in,” she replied, and that was a bombshell and a half, “and the rest of my staff are in a training session upstairs at the moment.”

“Training?” Daniel echoed.

“Training,” she repeated.

“What kind of training?”

“The sort we all need right now.”

“Doc,” Jack said sternly. “What does that mean?”

She taped a bit of gauze at his elbow. “The general will inform you.”

“That’s crazy!” he called after her.

“That’s orders,” she shot back. “I’ll have your samples run shortly. Shower and change, and do not harass my staff or anyone else!” Her tone was definitely the ‘don’t fuck with me’ tone they all knew not to mess with. “I’ll release you to your debriefing as soon as I can, but if you annoy my staff, I’ll figure out a reason to keep you all in isolation.”

“Right.” He stared at his teammates, each of them obviously baffled. Even Teal’c was giving the one eyebrow of doom.

Half an hour later, they were all clean, cleared of alien bugaboos, and ready to get some information.

To Jack’s surprise, in addition to General Hammon and Major Davis was the White House Chief of Staff, who looked very excited at meeting Teal’c.

“Sir…?” Jack asked General Hammond after getting through the necessary greetings.

“Have a seat Colonel. You too, Major Carter, Dr. Jackson, Teal’c.” It struck Jack how tired General Hammond looked. As soon as they were all seated, the general waved to Major Davis, “Go ahead, Paul. I’m not sure I have it in me at this point.”

“Of course, sir.”

Davis folded his hands in front of him. “SG-1, particularly Doctors Jackson and Carter were instrumental in working on the various contingencies should there be a foothold situation on Earth that would result in or require declassification.”

“Was there a foothold situation while we were gone? Our mission was only five days?” Jack exclaimed.

“No,” the general said tiredly. “Just wait.”

“There was no foothold situation,” Davis said, tone carefully neutral, “but part of that planning was various methods of declassification should the information need to be released to the public. Dr. Jackson, in fact, rated them along with the various sociologists and psychiatrists in the program on which methods would be best utilized in an optimal scenario to lessen the traumatic impact on the populace.”

Jack glanced at Daniel. “You did?”

Daniel shrugged. “They asked me to work out which way of revealing aliens would be best received by the general public. I worked with a team on it.”

“Huh. Okay.” He looked back at Davis. “So?”

“There was a Plan A, a Plan B, a Plan C, and a Plan aliens are invading right now and we can’t control the narrative. And then the miscommunication happened.”

“Miscommunication?”

“Yes, sir. Somewhere along the way, and we’ve spent the last several days trying to work out exactly what happened, there was a rather egregious miscommunication. Instead of those being three potential plans that might be needed should declassification be desired, and one plan to be enacted if emergency declassification was needed, it was understood by someone along the way to be a choice of declassification plans, and an emergency plan if we should need it before we could finish notifying the American public.”

Jack stared.

“The American public?” Daniel echoed. “Do you mean to say that this has been released already? And what about the rest of the world?”

“Those who weren’t already in the know are trying to decide if we’re pulling a prank,” Chief of Staff Whitley intoned dryly.

“You mean everyone knows about the Stargate?” Jack practically yelped and looked at General Hammond. “I went away for five days and you told everyone, sir?”

General Hammond just looked tired. “Not me personally, Jack. But whoever cocked things up did like Daniel’s plans the best, and went with Plan B, which was certainly most heavily influenced by Daniel’s ideas.”

“Oh.” Daniel flushed.

“What’s Plan B?” Jack asked, nudging Daniel harder than necessary with his foot.

“Ah, that’s the narrative about how, yes, there are many dangers out there, but there are many friends and allies to be found, and we can find ourselves in the people who used to live on Earth, in those who were taken to seed life on other planets, if we only take the time to look.”

“Dammit, Daniel,” Jack exploded. “So, instead of a planet prepared for potential threats, they’re all going to be budding anthropologists and sociologists looking to understand another culture?”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Daniel said defensively.

“It’s a terrible thing!”

General Hammond to his feet. “How about we leave Dr. Jackson and Colonel O’Neill to debate the merits of Plan B. I’m sure they’ll be at it for some time. You can get to know Teal’c better, Mr. Whitley, while we show you around the base. The Chief of Staff had just arrived before you all gated back in, so he’s seen very little of our operation so far. How do you feel about playing tour guide, Major Carter?”

“Ah, I’d love to, sir.” She shot Jack a look that clearly said ‘get it out of your system.’

Jack wanted to protest the clear handling, but he felt like he was about to explode, so the minute the door closed, he was on his feet. “How could you?”

“How could I what?” Daniel shot back. “Do what was asked and give feedback into declassification plans?”

“Put forth something so touchy feely as ‘there are friends amongst the stars.’ And ‘look for ourselves in them’ or whatever other crap they’re spouting.”

“Jack! I didn’t actually—” Daniel broke off and took a deep breath. “Declassification wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to be necessary. Plan B was the plan if we had more friends than enemies out there and we were trying to get people to see the Jaffa as allies and not some invading force to be put down! There was a reason for a soft-touch plan; it was specifically if we needed an approach that protected the people working with us.”

Jack gave an aggrieved sigh and ran his hands through his hair. “You’re right; I know you’re right, but how could this have happened?”

“I don’t know; you had your whole meltdown before we got all the information, remember? But clearly someone is in a lot of trouble, and for once, it’s not us. Because classified is practically tattooed on our asses around here.”

Jack flopped back in his seat. “I’m not even sure I want to deal with the fallout from this.”

“Well, General Hammond has been dealing with it for days apparently, and I hardly think it’s fair to leave him with it alone.”

“Don’t be logical and compassionate at the same time. Especially not before I’ve had pie.”

“Okay. How about this: you don’t have a choice but to deal with it; they don’t even stock water in this room, and I’m not dying of dehydration so you can pretend to be an ostrich.”

“Nice turnabout.”

“I thought so.”

“I have a hunch off-world missions are scrubbed for a while.”

“Probably.”

“Dammit!” Jack pouted. “That was all the fun of this job.” He side-eyed his best friend. “Predictions?”

“Promotion.”

“For who?”

“Well not me. What are they going to promote me to? Extra, extra smart?”

Jack couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t actually want to be a general.”

“They’re either going to put their head in the sand and try to mothball the program, which I don’t think is likely, or you’re going to get a star out of it. Sorry, Jack.”

“When did you get good at predicting the military?”

Daniel gave him an enigmatic smile. “A mission or two ago.”

Jack poked him in the side. “I guess we should pretend to be professional about this and go catch up with the tour group.”

“I don’t think my professionalism is in question.”

“Ugh. You’re the worst best friend ever.”

“Lies.”

Jack sobered. “What do you think is going to happen with you?”

“I think…” Daniel trailed off. “I suspect I’m headed back to DC tonight with General Hammon and the White House Chief of Staff.”

“Definitely lie to me.”

“Sorry, Jack.”

Jack shook his head and slung his arm around his best friend’s shoulders, guiding him toward the door. “How can you be sorry for being the best at what you do? Everyone wants to talk to you…nothing new there. I just usually only have to compete for your time off-world.”

“It’s all going to work out, Jack.”

“Keep the lies coming.”

Daniel laughed.

The End